With 'Konstantin Eulenspiegel' tagged articles

Opposition, rather Jermain!

Thursday, March 27, 2014

When estimated Jermain foutre le Camp can find a nice list of quotes on writing and the writer.


Alone, the Goethe quote that he chose the title, is not my consent: "The state of the writer the true reader shares immediately with completely."

And it's not because I know how loyal readers, despite its undoubted skills and achievements, no sovereign admirer of Goethe am much do detest what he has done.

The set is from my own experience how other along my knowledge of literary creation just is not right. (more ...)

Already engaged in Constantine Leiptsch

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

After Constantine had slept so well as in weeks not more, a little invigorating walks through Leipzig, he went to a Isswasundsovielduwillstfrühstück.

This did, in spite of the excellent roast goose the night before, not once.

"Really strange," he thought to himself, "that I after such a dinner the next day again have a hunger alswie a wolf. The hamburgers and saliva have really added me hard. "

So folgete ham on Käsbrötchen, not even egg butter or mustard nor any other existing was spared until the knapsack finally designated span really feist.

Now Constantine Leipzig besahe at day. Also a city of severe wounds had been beaten, but all seemed jolly, especially since the Sächsinnen.

Against fours, after a first beers, simply enjoyed on the bench in the air, Constantine decided not to let time longer, finally his last evening Zechgenoss, the Berthold to call.

Its probably around eighteen year old daughter was on the line. Easy snippy she asked after Constantine's permission to approach their Lord Papa telephone.

Constantine, not lazy, replied that the Berthold had very probably made last night a billable impression by load this call that young lady wants their gatekeeper function therefore recognized as correct but nevertheless understand terminated quickly, their old, where possible, in call in the near future.

Then spurts Elli Rüb. The Papa came.

"Rüb, good day."

"Hello Berthold, here is the Constantine. How are you? I talked, invitation accordance with, like talk with you about your theater, whatever else is in Leipzig. "

"Oh, of Constantine. Let me think. I still have quite a bit of cheek. But tonight at eight, because we could meet in cross cellar, there's great rustic food, and the wine also true. Do you find that? "

"Sure. It will surely give himself in Leipzig no three cross cellar. "

"So it is. So until then. "

"See you."

Constantine was about time, so was already seven forty-five, the basement was a real cellar, middle-class audience. He asked to be allowed to order only when his comrades came.

Berthold also met for a time points, they gave her hand, laughed first, ordered on the former recommendation, first the white house wine.

"What I eat here because the best?" Asked Constantine, come by the wine.

Well, if you want's fleshy, sometimes cold, then the sausage and ham plate. Otherwise, the cheese plate. Not too shabby. I empföhle the hot roast beef in stout pepper sauce. Since no one has bitched, who had an ass in the pants. "

"What do you take?"

"I take the cheese plate. Meat already gave it to lunch. "

"Yes, I agree with him."

After a little small talk and some snacks and exterminated by the second pint had been called, Rüb said bluntly: "If you like, you're with me in the theater what."

"What could I as can?" Asked Constantine, something zweiflig. "I have no training in that direction."

Rüb laughed uproariously, and came first with Constantine.

"Let's drink a sip first on the good cheese, the beautiful restaurant, the incipient evening, the beautiful women, and, not least, on us!"

Konstantin rejoiced, for the Berthold was really a jovial guy, funny and formed allzumal who made an oblique impression in any way.

"Yes, and?"

"Have you ever heard of 'Open Stage' and 'Slam Poetry'?"

"Yeah, right, I'm already longer than it is the engsächsischen terms for it."

"Well, then, then you look because by that."


"Man, you flat bag, I need one who announces these events and moderates, who does not bring the people to sleep, itself has a plan eingrätscht spontaneously in doubt, the visible can it himself, withdraws the thing properly. You can do it. "

Another sip of wine.

"Ok, I'll try it."

The other preliminary negotiations between Constantine and Berthold went pretty straightforward, because it was quickly agreed that we must try things simple and more financial terms with men of honor are now not auszukaspern, you'd better yet properly drink a while prefer the to consider circumstances on talking and stuff half and was developing.

Loaded Medium and cheerful alswie a free roof came Constantine at half past one in the district, and it felt really good to Leipzig.

Konstantin strikes in Leipzig

Tuesday, November 19, 2013

After Constantine had recovered the beer in his Zigarettchen and his song, the feeling durchströmete him to be back to his usual self, he roamed, it was only shortly before noon, a little by Hamburg, ate a bite, grabbed his Gezeugs in the board, made up by cashed his check, the main train station, besahe the board sparked a ticket conditions Leipzig, because allda total among the Saxons, he had to do very little.

In the course he wrote a letter Maike yet.

Who knows, maybe she forgave him sometime.

He was there also just slipped, it had never meant any harm.

After all, good Zehrgeld was popped from the Zerzeugshaus of saliva at the end.

And something meaningful due decomposition was also successful. Let's see what would bring the next track. For the first time, it was a Friday, Constantine was strained to the next issue.

After a little nap even arrived safely in Leipzig, he asked himself a simple neighborhood, not too far from the city, for he thought tonight might once again really a draufzumachen. Good drink and breathe well clear.

And, especially, once eat smart. Hamburg had emaciated him.

And, lo and behold, a restaurant found himself offered the traditional German roast goose with homemade dumplings and red cabbage. He loved to read. Vornab the vegetable soup, to finish with vanilla ice Brombeerrumtopf, and a Courvoisier and go at first a white man from the Unstrut, afterwards a red chair by the emperor. In short, he again felt like a real man.

The comparatively unpretentious manner of Leipzig had noticed him. Also, the recovery against Hamburg. Although not far from Hamburg and not so unhamburgerisch nor Gitte haunted by his senses ...

"No, until you anzettelst in Leiptsch dirty jokes, you're going to recover first two or three days. Hamburg was hard. This will only be digested. "

He shuffled his meal a few hours through the city until the Nachdurst still took him to an inn, allwo of wine not cheap, but well.

Dorten, it was now past midnight, it was gesittetermaßen manufactures high. Not a little loose women threw to Konstantin encouraging looks.

So finally it was also found at his table, he asked the whence and the Wohins.

Constantine, but very resolved whether the course of the day, were a few sayings at the best, showed his erquicklichsten page.

Berthold, the most interesting and obviously Trinkfesteste on the board, he finally gave by his kidnapped wife, nor his card, Constantine would like to get in touch with him, he wofern interest in pässlichen activity or even one so have fun Saturday evenings.

Konstantin thanked manner, there was a departure, and Constantine was now but after Bette and slumber.

But on the way home he besahe still the card: "Berthold Rüb - Central Theater Leipzig - Director".

"Mein lieber Schwan", Konstantin thought, "the invitation I will certainly not let pass."

And so he went happily to bed.

Konstantin entspeichelt be

Monday, November 18, 2013

Although Constantine drove seemingly yet to saliva, but in reality he crawled.

To make a good face on the games presented there, now for weeks that made him tame.

He saw and heard the whole book rod Tight blow from Reuters and other agencies dizziness came in, as in a Billigstwurstfabrik only gröbst processed the customers with great fanfare in the Schlünder was stuffed.

He was ashamed to be another cog in this Lugsgetriebe that it not occurred a right, clever antics, let alone succeeded.

He felt erhamburgert on the übelstdenkbare way. The chatter of Tippsen and even worse, the editor, who in any case were called so, not even to surpass in perceived self-importance and arrogance of baboons, took his last nerve.

Even worse, the editors. All of them are either gay or hinterschleimerte, fraudulent coordinators and nasty loafer. Dante would, he thought to himself, here about hells can still learn something.

Honesty and decency were two completely unknown foreign words here. A single corrupt propaganda machine. A Poporogandamaschine.

Given the piercing glances Maikes. He felt sick as a dog.

That with the channeling he schmank off. There had to be some reasonable escalation, at least one edge thrown out.

So he decided abruptly to go to the editor to leave there unfugshalber simply on his good old instincts, no matter how then the output.

Finally he was admitted. Dr. Worpswede seemed quite calm, a slight cynical smile played around his lips.

"Well, Mr. Eulenspiegel, what do I owe the honor?" Asked the pelmet.

"You should make me a department head," replied Constantine without hesitation.

Worpswede only looked a little surprised, then began to cackle alswie suddenly an old, mangy guinea fowl.

"What, häha, what should I do? Are not you out of your mind? "

"Well, I say it sometimes quite directly. Just so you do not have a chance to save your ass, sir, boss, "Konstantin sat unmoved by.

"You have probably from not only one wheel, Eulenspiegel, immediately leave my office, get your papers," countered the other left apparently, "and do it fast, or I call security."

"Well," said Konstantin really left, "everyone has opportunities in life, some of them missed. I wish you a nice day, sir. Good wishes you will still need. Demeanor at ease. "And wall to the door.

Justament by Constantine's hand was close to the jack, it rang out from behind: "Stop! Stay a moment! "

Constantine turned around as though very astonished and said, frowning: "What I should give you yet, I think I'm fired? Why should I not tell you? "

Worpswede cooked. But he pulled himself together. "Sit down. Sit down. "

Konstantin hesitated a moment, then sat up but, struck the right leg over the left, otherwise very relaxed.

"You talk!"

Konstantin smiled. "What for? I'm fired. "

"SPEECHES you !!!," thundered the doctor.

"All right. Then severance. Paper ago, signature, or I go, "said Konstantin so cool as quietly.

"And that, too, is clear: I will not name names."

"Who is behind it?" Külchte Worpswede.

"I told you that I will help you only informative but not name names. It remains. Where is the settlement agreement? "

Now Profi the doctor was again. It was serious.

"How much do you want?"

Constantine would have liked executed properly arrived, but thought better of it.

"Twenty thousand. Although this is a steal, but I want to get out of this pouf. Without taking further damage. I'll be back in fifteen minutes. If the wiper is on the table, I unpack. Otherwise, I wish you much happiness. "

Got up and left Worpswede office.

Fifteen minutes later, the wiper was on the table, the doctor had his tie loosened slightly and obviously eingegeust a good double brandy.

"So, now, plain text!" He barked, by Konstantin pocketed the settlement agreement.

"It runs a conspiracy against you," he said dryly.

"It is rumored, be crazy, yes possessed."


"People tell themselves, and many believe that, you were channeling both Hefttitel- and topic selection. They believed in a discarnate entity named Karb from which you could dictate unconditionally. Therefore, the decline in sales, with subscriptions as at the kiosk. The boss was not quite hiesig, no journalistic reason got more to his ear. "

"How many are there?"

"I do not know, it does not speak so openly. I have no idea where the rumor stirred. But it comes around, that's for sure. "

Worpswede mused a while.

"And if you stay, help me against the mob, how about that, Mr. Eulenspiegel?"

"I'm sorry, sir," Konstantin said after a short pause, unmoved, "since you must already own through. Who breeds themselves astray, who then stop at some point which. "

Shaking his head, he got up, went to the door before the other knew nor to put something over on his seat, grabbed his pack fast at the door, out into the fresh air.

He got on a snack Jeverchen, sat down on the bench at the Alster lake, since it all started, took a deep train, turned a whistled a tune first.


Constantine saliva-Alp

Wednesday 07 August 2013

Constantine was sore the bottom of his heart. He knew that this was quite gone wrong with Maike, and he knew that he would not stand it when saliva very long time before that he does not provide adequate lesson.

In sleep he sat on once at a conference table, and everyone was talking at him as Lord Chief Editor, and he knew not what he had done wrong, yet his real name, nor what to say, when it comes to his proposed fundamental Redaktionsumbildung and strategic realignment of the publisher went. Maike brought coffee all the time. Almost all drank coffee with milk. A beer would notgetan. Nowhere a beer. Now Constantine noticed also that you had to have fed him a very sneaky intoxicants, probably with this filth apricot juice. What's this? - Shot him through the head. A damn dirty mix is. "You can all me ... uh ... you ...!" Konstantin yelled in his sleep, so that he awoke.

The beer was there, it was half past three, and it ran cool even delicious his throat hinunt. (more ...)

Konstantin volunteer at Hamburger saliva

Wednesday 07 August 2013

Now that we therefore had to specifically follow up on on Constantine's request, as the secretary of the magazine The saliva, Maike, settled with him, because he still recently shared one night the bed with her, it is also time to talk about his interim efforts .

Konstantin is actually a volunteer at the saliva. For four weeks. It was not easy. He had, Deibel but also, once again is erquatschen an interview to the Old watts, about all kinds of jokes. Constantine had no idea with which qualification he wanted to show off. He was then but between all the pompous adversity that he is, if he did not say that, to a certain extent at the same time as a kind of court jester and girls from the service, which can not only talk, but even also writes, yes, probably the latter is not yet good enough, why he wanted so learn it here at such a holy place better, could apply.

The thing was scratched quickly. He got a 25-hour contract with modest pay, which he former just right, finally Constantine has always something to do, and went to work.

The only table in the canteen - where he's going good, although the food was pretty standard - at which he sat still, the mood among new colleagues loosen up a bit, that is, to sit at the Maike always cares. She looks at him with eyes of ice. Alas, a colleague, even his superior, asking him stupid maybe with the plastic tray still unattached, at "their" table. Konstantin is taken and prepared for the worst.

Meanwhile, of course, he knows all Editorial rumors, jealousies, the jargon, the sensitivities of working, the learner, the sensationalism, the whole vanity fair. Sometimes Maike to not only icy, but even grim look.

After Constantine with small messenger services, coffee fetching and little research, sometimes also deals a text review, word got around quickly that Constantine can provide both orally over a fine feeling for the language, but very accurate, yes knew himself to proofread soulful, so that happened, what was inevitable, namely, that not only secretaries, but even seasoned editors increasingly started to like him. The situation is precarious as ever. If Maike bursts, it's all over.

It goes to a lunch break. Constantine knows he like as if compelled must reach May's table before the disaster steuermannslos simply takes its course. He must but do so skillfully that he surprisingly exactly meets their sense of humor, or so that it Deibel but also alswie not planned for her looks, she is in any case its not sufficiently certain.

A colleague always sitting with her at the table, and he makes her powerful advances. A higher animal in the economics department. If I ansandele the so next time he invites me to the table, rotating by Maike. It can not go. I need a fine list. If I'm sitting at the next table that no longer falls on a long time, I have at any time as a matter of course. I can not speak to himself excluded. He must speak to me, I reply as he asks them what they think of it, maybe a total of this odd new bird? - Yes, that's it, so it belongs made.

So, I find out on what he particularly sensitive in his Wirtschaftsdöns, tear at the right time a few obscenities to so that it either runs or soherum he like so insistently asks me to his table that I can not say no, or this is at least prepared quite unsuspicious. Perhaps we should reject the invitation once even under a pretext, to only in the most innocent re-invitation, of necessity, so to say. Oh man. The night was beautiful, but now cost's.

Constantine was, in spite of the achievements, both to Maike not yet fully on the mound, as he also did not know which string is just to play the saliva. But already it was him an idea through his head. When he brought Maike to reason, so ...

He had to use a trick of seduction. While the ladies over, although friendly and would be binding, but clearly reluctant. That he was not from the other side, he had made it clear, so that of male side dräuten no sexual entanglements. He must have heard something, no, maybe better, two things that he himself does not really believe what he is but wonders why, given that so many not together passe, which then quite soon debunked by himself as a forgery, the other for but even more than ever presented sound, resulting eventually, well, lead to something, perhaps even a great opportunity will arise.

And the mystery of his person should do the rest, as he was careful not to leave them too much to put or move into the center to reinforce the puzzle in its effect.

He would have to reinforce the puzzle until he exactly the right time with enigmatic message or simply disappear so. So, as a Konstantin disappears, namely very quickly and without a trace as announced.

Yes, a mystery Constantine was still that which puzzles or he should use.



Konstantin Eulenspiegel's previous misadventures

Wednesday 07 August 2013

I have here for everyone, take the proportion of Constantine fates and tests, compiled the recent reports of his experiences in chronological order.

https://unzensiert.zeitgeist-online.de/2010/09/05/konstantin-chosen by lot-to-braunschweiger-kinder/



























Maike expects from Konstantin

Wednesday 07 August 2013

Constantine called me quite angry from Hamburg and said that if I anfütterte the reader already with his amorous adventures accidental, this could not therefore on tenterhooks as I did that at the close of the last chapter, as I announced, by the confessional and Wutszene with Maike, the morning after the night of love, only to report when he was with Hamburg "by".

Konstantin rarely speaks to me in my chronicle in, and when he does, he has his reasons, I called not to question, unless I saw his request as so serious that I would advise him against it as a friend.

So it came to pass, that Maike and Konstantin sat at the breakfast table and Konstantin clear was that while he would like to stand as quite a rascal, come upon a bad storm about him, however, he could not help the effect of telling the truth, he with what intention come into the Old watts, namely those of the Hamburg Journaille, especially those of the saliva to put on the fur, thus far, in order flatten what was but now done almost as inevitably in all those sultry layers Tristesse at that place, yes, he had soon only interested in them, with each beer more, and vice versa, there have also shone: In short, he had the night not spent with her because she's secretary was the saliva, but to a certain extent, anyway, his original intention sacrificing what he but do not regret, only that he had not told her yesterday evening, he was on the way on which mission. But he had feared ...

Full North German Maike his whole sermon heard in quiet, only her pretty little Nasenflügelchen trembled a little in the meantime.

When Constantine had finished, she calmly took their lukewarm giant cup of milky coffee, stood up, as if to order in thought somewhere, and pour very slowly the whole broth Konstantin ran through cap and jerkin.

"You do have a sparge? At home I have right now a pitchfork on hand or at least a bullwhip: I Dengle your Intrigante skull but also happy with it after Dithmarsch old custom, "she said calmly and took a cast-iron skillet from the wall hook. (more ...)

Konstantin hamburgt the Old Watt

Saturday, June 29, 2013

'No, the Mercantile you will not easily grab the Hamburger', Constantine said, as he squashed the second fish sandwich and be Flens had emptied his gaze on an ugly skyscraper fell on the red in large letters stood: THE SALIVA .

'Oh,' he thought to himself, 'now you're so unexpectedly landed visavis from saliva, and by time the sun shines in Hamburg. A sign. '

Constantine's hunting instinct erbob. Dorten, going about daily in this scheusäligen palace of the letters desecration and -verschleuderung, allwo so many useless inflated Fanten the art of brainwashing, its sole behalf, was the place that he must be the hamburgers spoil the laugh at the stupid Munich.

A plan was needed. The thing wanted to be well considered.

As he saw near a chip shop, allwo he said, further, targeted customer to gain that mental asylum over the inmates to what the more likely to succeed him accomplish saying pleased, he sintemalen by he approached, there saw some figures that accurately looked like, how the sort of hacks and -finkinnen imagining, still reading the last advantage of the Elbschlick.

So completely out Jever ordered a bit to make a stupid and random. (more ...)

Konstantin learns Hamburg

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Konstantin woke up quite early, addressed to some extent, made at the front desk computer for a few second hand shops from, went through Hamburg identifying appropriate wardrobe for one who wishes to be suitable in the merchant city for high, low, and normal stacking.

The first store, Connie's slug, was of rather too geckenhaftem range; but he found there after some browsing after all, an inexpensive Scots scarf, alswie a pair of purple patent leather shoes, which he indeed did not know what they should suck, but told him an inner voice that could get him still in useful in his undertakings.

Afterwards, the Hanse-Best-Price-Pops, allwo one of those incomparable beauty blond Hamburg, about his semester, service did, that he hardly knew how to condition on the trouser and jacket search alone, befell's him as follows.

"I Daaf döhm Lord helföhn?" She finally asked him kindly in wunderschönstem, bright, northern German chant in black ankle boots, knee-length lime green skirt and glossy dark blue satin blouse, so that Constantine saw how beautiful buds thrive not just in sunny Breisgau to bloom, but also among the most nieselregnerischen heavens.

"Uh," Konstantin said - he hated it, a set to begin so - "wofern me heal woman boss here, certainly adept to advise a small business man to appropriate Behosung and Bejackung, it would be my gratitude and prompt like pay reasonable dress allergernst certainly. "

Constantine was immediately clear that he had exaggerated significantly with its inflated chatter, expecting a juicy Riposte, but the Hamburg clerk, where a Münchnerin would have watched two seconds puzzled, perhaps hingegrummelt do something Unprofessional right to let himself, except for a brief but very neat acting extremely fine frown, say nothing, the patient looked at the type and size calm and said:. "If the Lord wants to sit down for a moment, I'll give him ma 'n bushes wat beisammentun" (more ...)

Konstantin half in Hamburg

Friday, June 14, 2013

Konstantin scarcely in the course of Stuttgart to Hamburg, immediately began diligently to meditate on it, where welcherart yonder einzuquartieren initially as to dress and where he first act itself it should do, quickly to feel the pulse of the city towards the heart itself.

It disgusted him very much, but it soon became clear that he would be able to occur only as a merchant or similar braggart, it is also considered one of the more special.

He would first have to buy a new outfit. Since the mouse bit off no thread. Ordentliche Jeans, anständige Polohemden und Sakkos waren nebst gepflegten Stadtschuhen angezeigt: es ging nicht zu den Rottweilern oder zum Wandern auf die Alb.

Da in der Geldkatz zwar noch was drin, Hamburg aber mindestens zunächst teuer zu werden versprach, ward der beste Spätgebrauchtkleidhändler nach Ankunft besucht, schon in der neuen Kluft, noch mit den guten Stiefeln, eine diskrete Absteige ausgemacht, der Halbschuhe und ersten Erkundungen morgen nachzugehen.

Zwei Bier wollte sich Konstantin noch gönnen und ging am Kiez entlang.

Es fing an zu nieseln. Die Abendwärme Stuttgarts lag wie unter Neapel. Zum Glück hatte er seinen Regenumhang nicht geopfert. Es nahm zu. Es wurde wilder. Schließlich peitschte es zwar noch nicht, wurd aber auch seitweis schon ziemlich garstig. Da war die Pinte erreicht. (weiterlesen…)

Konstantin von Stuttgart gen Hamburg

Sonntag, 09. Juni 2013

Nachdem Konstantin mit Magnus noch ein angemessenes Frühstück, oder eher Spätstück, eingenommen hatte, also des Käses, der Fischcreme und der gekaperten Eier wie sodann des gewärmten Pferdsgulaschs nicht geschont worden war, also, dass die beiden Freunde wieder in einer Weise lustig standen, einen Abschied verkraften zu können, obschon Steinweins nicht hinzuzuführen ward, nicht einmal ein kleiner Chablis, eben nur ein robuster spanischer Magenausregler, zwei Stück Konfekt zum Nachkaffee, ein genüssliches Zigarettchen, andächtig, wissend, dass es wieder lang dauern möchte bis zu einer neuerlichen ziemlichem Zusammenkunft, indem Konstantin davor, endlich in Hamburg seiner Pflicht zu tun, Magnus, wie immer, zwischen Bergen von Schriften irgendein Obauf zu erkennen sich in die Lage zu setzen sich verstehen würde müssen, dieweil sein treuer Freund sich in allerlei noch fragwürdsame Fährnisse begeben werde, ward man etwas gefühlig, was sich, so hielten sie es nunmal, in Form einer umso unmittelbareren Ansprache äußerte.

“Wie gedenkst du es jetzt mit jener Gitte, Maulheld oder Maulhalt, zu halten?”, frug Magnus fast überarg trocken.

“Ich habe ihr geschrieben, dass ich zwar schon ein bisschen was von Hunden verstünde, aber wohl noch nicht viel von Pferden. Ich käme also gerne mal auf Papas Reiterhof, der Anfangsgründe dieses edlen, bislang versäumten Behufs etwas zu erlernen.”

“Und sonst? Was ist mit den Hamburgern?” (weiterlesen…)

Konstantin in Stuttgart (III)

Donnerstag, 06. Juni 2013

Nachdem Konstantin und Magnus des letzteren Stammkneipe verlassen hatten, zogen die beiden Freunde von hier nach dort, bis es schon recht spat geworden war und Magnus dazu riet, noch das Café V. aufzusuchen, allwo ein recht interessant gemischtes Publikum aufzuschlagen pflege.

An der Bar sahe Magnus, dass dahinter, wohl als eine Art spiritus rector, jedenfalls selbst nicht bedienend, sichtlich bestens gelaunt, ein elegant schwarzgekleideter Herr von vielleicht sechzig Jahren stand, sich angelegentlich nach hüben wie drüben sehr freundlich unterhaltend, alsmitwelchem Magnus einschließlich anderer eigentümlicher Vögel schon einmal länger gesessen hatte, von ihm erfahren, dass er Gedichte verfasse, alswovon er auch wohl einen Auszug vorgetragen, dessen Inhalt aber, ob der Schwere der Stunde, weitgehend aus seinem Gedächtnis entfleucht, fast nur die Eleganz des Vortrags haftengeblieben.

So frug er denn, wohl wissend, dass auch Konstantin feiner Poesie nicht abgeneigt, den Distinguierten, ob es denn nicht etwas von seinen Werken zu lesen gebe, vielleicht gar hier, jetzt gleich, oder anderwie erhältlich, das möchte ihn delektieren. (weiterlesen…)

Konstantin in Stuttgart (II)

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Konstantin in Stuttgart

Freitag, 24. Mai 2013

Unangekündigt klingelte Konstantin – er wusste, dass das hier bei seinem guten alten Freunde völlig in der Ordnung – an Magnus' Türe.

“Ja heidenei, Konschtantin, Bua, dass du oifach so reischneisch!”, also begrüßte jener ihn, “lang et gseha, Sakrament!”, indem man sich herzlich umarmte.

“Komm rei, hogg die erschdmol noh. Willsch a Bier, odder en Woi? Hosch Honger? I han noh a guede Leisasubb doh. Die isch glei gwärmed. Odder en Breggel Käs, a Schengabrod?”

“Na, so ein Kännchen Bier wäre schon recht. Lass uns später essen. Tun wir erstmal was gegen Gevatter Durst.”

Indem die beiden Krüge flugs gefüllt, man angestoßen und einen guten Schluck genommen, sagte Magnus: “Ja, verzähl, wia kommsch off oimol doher? I han dengd, du wärsch vo Wirzburg offm Wäg zu dera Hamborger Seggel.”

“Ja nun, Magnus, du weißt, wie es ist. Ich war dann zuerst in Freiburg, auf dem Feldberg, zudem in Rottweil, hernach ein paar Tage auf der Alb, mir den Trübsinn ein wenig aus dem Kopfe zu wandern.”

“Jo wa, bisch en Freiburg bei dr Gerlinde gwä? Wie gohd's rer noh? Driabsenn, Kerle, wa sechsch do, wa isch los?”

“Gerlinde hat inzwischen einen Hans. Der sorgt für sie. Und er ist schwer in Ordnung.”

“Oh je. Scheiße abber au.”

Beide schwiegen eine Weile. (weiterlesen…)

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Konstantin weiß nicht Weibs

Montag, 20. Mai 2013

Konstantin war von Rottweil in Richtung Schwäbische Alb gewandert, und er wollte erstmal nichts als wandern.

Hie und da stieß er auf einen kleinen Flecken, wo er Weinschlauch und Brotbeutel füllte und sich eine Lammbrust oder ein Huhn, am abendlichen Feuer zu braten, besorgte.

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Konstantin: Rats und Rede in Rottweil

Sunday, May 12, 2013

Indem Konstantin nach seinem ersten vergnüglichen Abend in Rottweil erst einmal gut ausgeschlafen, sich gereckt, ein angemessenes Frühstück eingenommen, Stadt und Umgebung ein wenig durchstreift, wobei er zunächst den Eindruck hatte, dass die Rottweilerinnen etwas vierschrötiger denn die Freiburgerinnen daherkämen, was er vorderhand dem rauheren Klima zuschob, wofür er sich dann aber schalt, da sein Urteil diesbezüglich vielleicht doch noch etwas getrübt sein mochte, begab er sich, wie vereinbart, um zwei Uhr, an jenen vereinbarten Ort, etwas oberhalb der Stadt, wo er vom Ratsherren zur verschwiegenen Zusammenkunft ein gemütliches Bänklein, mit herrlichem Ausblicke, leichthin fand, diesen schon daselbst auf ihn wartend sitzend.

“Ha no, schee, dad kommschd, setz die erschdmol noh!”, ward er feundlichst begrüßt.

Also setzete er sich, und erst einmal schwiegen beide ein paar Minuten, der Frühlingssonne und der herrlichen Landschaft genießend.

“Wie kann ich Euch helfen, werter Rat?”, hub Konstantin schließlich an.

“Wir haben arge, streunende Rottweiler, wissen uns derer nicht mehr zu helfen.”

Zunächst verstund Konstantin nicht, dann aber ward ihm schnell klar, dass es sich hier wohl um Vertreter der so genannten Hunderasse handeln müsse, derer er schon welche als selbst für einen wackeren Burschen, wenn in Wut, wofern der kein gutes Messer griffbereit, als eine möglicherweise nicht unernsthafte Prüfung erlebt hatte.

“Ja seid ihr Rottweiler nicht manns genug, ein paar streunender Rottweiler Herr zu werden, und sei es, dass der Knüttel sausen muss, bis dass sie Ruhe geben?”

“So einfach ist die Sache leider nicht. Nicht nur, dass wir Rottweiler Rottweiler lieben, es geht auch um das Ansehen unserer Stadt in aller Welt. Was soll man denn von uns halten, wenn wir, uns nicht anders zu helfen wissend, beginnen, Rottweiler totzuschlagen? Was denkst du, wie man nicht nur in Tuttlingen und Villingen, nein gar in Stuttgart und darüber hinaus, über uns lachen und spotten wird? Der Ruf der ganzen Stadt, aller Rottweiler, steht auf dem Spiele.”

“Wie kam es denn, dass die Hunde wild und bös wurden?”, fragte Konstantin.

“Es gibt hier drei große Züchter. Jeder versuchte die anderen darin zu übertreffen, dass er noch größere und schärfere Rottweiler habe. Bei der jährlichen Schau sind dann plötzlich, unvermittelt, von jedem vier Tiere ausgebrochen, die stärksten; seitdem holen sie sich Hühner, Jungsauen, Kälber, Schafe, Ziegen: was sie nur finden. Dem Breitgwann Karl haben sie sogar seinen Zuchtbullen niedergemacht und zusammengefressen.”

“Hat denn keiner versucht, mit den Hunden zu reden?”

“Natürlich haben wir das versucht. Sie greifen ja auch keine Menschen an. Jedenfalls noch nicht. Aber wer sich hinstellt, der bekommt ein Geknurre und Gefauche, dass er sich nicht weiters versuchen will, wann er nicht doch einmal rottweilermäßig gebissen wird. Du weißt, wie Rottweiler beißen können?”

“Ich habe es mir sagen lassen. Thoroughly. Kann der Knochen schnell ab sein. Das wünsche ich keinem.”


“Das Beste also, wenn ich das richtig verstanden, wäre, wenn ich mit den Tieren mal vernünftig redete.”


Konstantin dachte eine Weile nach und sagte schließlich: “Gut, ich will mich dessen unterfangen. Aber ich brauche Hilfe.”

“Welcher Hilfe?”

“Ich bedarf der zwölf stärksten Männer Rottweils, die es mit bloßen Händen je mit einem Rottweiler aufnehmen können, Hunde lieben, je gerne einen guten Rottweiler hätten.”

Der alte Rat wog seinen Kopf hin und wieder, sagte schließlich: “Ich werde dir die Männer schaffen. Wir treffen uns morgen Abend in der Rottweiler Stube, allwo ich dich kennengelernt. Um die Zeche mache dir schonmal keine Gedanken.” (weiterlesen…)

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Konstantin in Rottweil

Freitag, 10. Mai 2013

In den zwei Tagen, die Konstantin brauchte, Rottweil zu erreichen, endlich durchs Schwarze Tor zu schreiten, dachte er immer wieder an das Gesicht mit dem Männlein auf dem Feldberge, zumal dieser Spruch, den es ihm gesagt, wollte ihm nicht aus dem Sinne:

“Was weißt du denn schon davon, was du gelernt!”

“Wie soll ich, Heidenblitz aber auch, wenig oder gar nichts von dem wissen, was ich gelernt? Heißt das, ich kann allerlei Sachen, dachte nur noch nie daran? Wie lernt man etwas so, dass man nichts davon merkt? Was könnte es denn alles sein, das ich schon gelernt, aber noch nichts davon weiß?”

Inzwischen waren Brot, Zwiebel, Käs, Schinken und Wein aus Freiburg aufgebraucht, und Konstantin brachte einen guten Wandererhunger und -durst mit in die schmucke kleine Stadt am Neckar, die für ihre Fasnet, also auch für keinen Mangel an Narren, wenigstens zeitweis im Jahr, weithin berühmt. (weiterlesen…)

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Konstantin auf dem Feldberge

Montag, 06. Mai 2013

Konstantin wusste aus Freiburg nur noch eins: Hinauf! – Also erstieg er, fast wie als ob blind und taub, der Landschaft kaum achtend, kaum, dass er zwischendrein einmal rastete, den Feldberg, wo er zum Sonnenuntergang ankam. Unter ihm alles sichtbare Land, über ihm nur der klare Maienhimmel.

Nachdem er einen Platz für die Nacht ausgemacht, wo es nicht zu zugig werden sollte – an manchen Stellen lag noch Schnee – , setzte er sich auf einen einsamen Stein, schaute allumher, trank einen Schluck von jenem vortrefflichen Riesling, den Gerlindes Hans ihm mitgegeben, und schließlich, da er den ganzen Tag nichts gegessen hatte, nicht einmal ein Konstantinsmagen sich vom langen Wandern füllt, griff er, zunächst zögerlich, dann immer zupackender, auch zu Brot und Schinken.

“Haltloser Vagabund du!” – rief er in die Abenddämmerung, alsda sich in den Tälern schon feine Nebelschleier bildeten.

Venus zeigte sich schon am Horizonte, die Nacht versprach kristallklar und kalt zu werden.

“Kann ich nicht ein anständiger Mann sein, so wie Hans?”

“Will ich immerzu unstet wandern, bis dass ich als Greis, allein, gebrechlich, von einem dunklen Stege in ein rauschendes Wasser rutsche, erbärmlich, felsenzerschunden, einsam ersoffen?”

“Was treibt mich noch, wozu immer irgendwohin?”

Da hörte Konstantin ein seltsames feines Zischen, es schien, als dränge es von unten, aus dem dichten Tann herauf, und nach und nach begann die Luft um ihn zu sirren. Endlich ein Rascheln, er wand sich um, und gewahrte ein winziges Männlein, gerade eine Handspanne lang, das mit fröhlichem Gesichte einen fingerhutgroßen Becher hob, freundlichen Gesichtes, gebärdenmäßig, einen Schluck vom Rieslinge begehrte. (weiterlesen…)

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Konstantin und der Abgender (II) und mehr

Mittwoch, 01. Mai 2013

Konstantin hat sich gemeldet. Noch aus Würzburg. Er zog gleich am Schnürchen und erzählte, was er Mister Pete Reuben Randolf Dooley zum Thema “The Genes Of Gender Studies” an der Uni öffentlich gefragt habe:

“Dear Mr Dooley, I am appalled by my detection of the veraciousness of Your benign words, and, to keep it short, would endeavor to pose You just one brief, thoroughly benevolent, even if it be a dire one, humble question.”

Dooley guckte ein wenig überrascht, schien aber Herr der Lage und entgegnete, höflich-kühl, plotzlich sehr traditionally English in Mimik und Gestik: “Go ahead, Sir.”

“Then, well, I just don't get it. The rams, for their own good, abducted from their natural mates to live duly in their own republic of 100% gender equality, how then will they procreate, to make this fine state not only stable, but thrive to eternal light?”

Nur etwa 5% im Saale hatten die Frage gleich zur Gänze verstanden, und Mr Dooley gehörte, auf seine Weise, dazu. Sein Gesicht verfärbte sich rot, und er rang nach Worten. Schließlich fand er sie. Totenstille im Saale.

“Mr Buffoon, whatever be Your name, I want You to leave the premises. I shall not answer to vile slanderers.”

Alle waren gespannt, was Konstantin nun seinerseits tun werde. Der ließ sich etwa sieben Sekunden Zeit, worauf er sehr leise sagte: “But, Mister Pete Reuben Randolf Dooley…” – woraufhin Dooley den Ausraster bekam und als wie ein Eastender, dem man das letzte Bier mutwillig vom Tresen geschüttet, brüllte: “Git aout bastird!” Alle waren etwas entsetzt ob der Verschärfung der Veranstaltung und ob der sich überschlagenden Stimme des Vortragenden.

Konstantin erhob sich gemessen, warf sich mit einem Lächeln in seine lederne Joppe, und entgegnete beim Gehen (er saß ja direkt an der Saaltür) nur noch: “You are definitely, if only temporarily, the landlord here, Sir. And an astounding one at that.”

Wenige Minuten später hatten alle den Saal verlassen. Dooley hatte die Veranstaltung stammelnd als beendet erklärt – wie Konstantin gleich draußen erfuhr, von einem wackeren Österreicher, gerade in Würzburg studierend, der ihn lachend kurz bestürmte – , und Konstantin war es erstmal recht zufrieden.


Nun muss der Abspann der Geschichte von Konstantins erstem Entmüßigungstage in Würzburg, der ja auch noch in einen längeren Abend mündete, erstmal zurückgestellt werden, da es noch Wichtigeres zu berichten gibt.

Konstantin sagt dazu fast nie etwas, aber seine Gerlinde, die tapfere Wirtin zu Freiburg, mit ihrem Söhnchen, sie fehlen ihm gar sehr; er habe so ein Gefühl, dass er mal wieder bei ihr sein müsse, er besser ganz überraschend komme, zu sehen, wie die Dinge wirklich liegen, die sie, ihn nicht zu beunruhigen, ihm vielleicht nicht gleich oder zur Gänze offenbaren werde.

Es wird also weiterhin erstmal nichts mit Hamburg: Freiburg ruft.


Es war, nach dieser Genderei, es war gerade mal halbert Zehne, klar, dass der kurze Hinanstieg zur schlafenden Erholung auf der Festungswiese (man findet dort auch allerlei stille Bänkchen, mit Blick auf die illuminerte Stadt) noch nicht angezeigt, also da es recht lenzenskühle geworden, noch ein Wirtshaus etwas Weines zu ersuchen. Aber nicht eilig, eher schlendernd, denn er hatte die Würzburger Innenstadt, all der Studenterei halber, noch keineswegs insgesamt durchstriffen, und nicht lange, da gewahrte er einer Weinstube, die sich “Weinhaus zum Stachel” heißt.

Er lachte zuerst, drang auch kurz ein, doch die Stadtratsgesichter, derer er dort sahe, zogen ihn auch gleich wieder hinaus.

(Er hat mir aufgetragen, nicht zu verraten, in welche Studentenkneipe, die auch guten Wein hat, was selbst zu Würzburg leider nicht selbstverständlich, Konstantin dann geriet.)

Siehe da, wie es der stets lauernde Zufall wollte, dorten wieder eine, diesmal, Doktorandin, die auch auf dem Vortrage gewesen, mit ihm zum Nachgespräche zu sitzen kam, eine, wie Konstantin es benamte, “recht Ansehnliche”, mit der die Unterhaltung freundlich anhub, wobei sie aber zunächst recht fahrig war, bis Konstantin ihr schließlich nach und nach ihre Unsicherheit nahm, sie mehrfach beruhigt hatte, dass mit ihm durchaus vernünftig zu reden sei, sie solle doch sagen, was sie beunruhige, kurzum, bis sie fragte: “Warum machst du sowas?” (Sie heißt wohl nicht Direkta, aber immerhin, zwar auch nicht Margarete, Gitte.)

“Weil es Spaß macht”, versetzte Konstantin.

“Haha. Weil es Spaß macht. Selten so gelacht. Wat'n Kalauer. Du bist kein gewöhnlicher Spaßmacher oder Clown. Außerdem hat es den meisten im Saal gar keinen besonderen Spaß gemacht. Und dass das so sein werde, wusstest du im vorhinein genau. Du hast eine Agenda.”

Konstantin merkte auf. Er habe also sogar eine Agenda. Gitte hatte selbst irgendwo einen Plan, das war klar.

“Darf ich mal kurz fragen, in was du promovierst? Entjokundologie etwa?”

Das war natürlich, mit dem Zusatze, recht frech, wenn nicht gar unhöflich von Konstantin, und er wusste das. Gitte aber ließ sich nichts anmerken, brauste nicht ein bisschen auf, sagte nur knapp, in ihrem klar norddeutschen, wenn nicht Hamburgerischen Tonfalle: “Es ist ein psycholinguistisches Thema, man könnte es auch pragmalinguistisch nennen, das hier zunächst nichts zur Sache tut.”

Nun war Konstantin klar, dass kein weiteres Geflunkere mehr durchgehen werde. Er musste Farbe bekennen.

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Ein gefühliger Weibsblog

Donnerstag, 18. April 2013

Bin eben mal wieder auf einen sentimentalen Weibsblog geraten.

Nicht ein Gran Relevantes, aber den Leuten, wohl auch Männern, wie man an den Kommentaren sahe, gefällt's.

Letztere überfliegend – ich war schonmal dort, und es war kaum anders – fand ich nicht eine Aussage von Gehalt: Jede fühlt mit jeder und jedem und jeder mit jeder und jedem, und das scheint so gut zu tun, dass einiges zusammenkommt.

Ich frage mich natürlich, wie langweilig es Leuten sein muss, dass sie sich derlei zum Steckenpferde machen. (weiterlesen…)

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