Cui Bono? Who uses it? Why all this fuss? - So it haunted me in his head, rather perplexed and aimlessly until I suddenly stood in front of a relatively new restaurant, which I had not given the honor of belonging to a cozy Hesse named Max, who - Olli had already appreciative of had established a cozy pub which also offered discreet corners and tasty nibbles for beers - talked to him and his pint. She had become a not uninteresting mix of some meat of südschwitzer twentysomethings interior with ambitions, a not so secret tip for business travelers from all over the world, as well as the inevitable Hintlingen looking for a wife, plus a piano on which Bodo, one after inexplicably Südschwitz more advisable so as bäuchichter already grizzled piano teacher from Leeds, a very vigorous still, used to erklimpern of his life between Beethoven and strange free jazz, even a small literary circle was there Tuesday.
The bar immediately came Max, therefore, greeted me happy - he knew me already by sight and hearsay - provided me, unasked, a Blonde out only commented: "Magnus, nice that you get new items. The first is on the house. Give my love to Olli on occasion. Great mate. "
Well, here I did not directly hostile country on the edge of a rushing river is surging, so deleted the first südschwitzer night thirst. But lo and behold, what was that? - A Chinese of perhaps 45 years, handsome, slim, toned, entered into a thin, strong, desert-colored hemp trousers, in light bush boots up around a powerful leinernen short khaki tropical shirt, and looked for a moment-friendly around, the way to counter to drive, to ask me with a winning smile in almost accent-free German: "Good evening. Is this seat free? "
So he took because on my right place, dug a New Yorker, a Frankfurter and a Beijing newspaper out by tasted it be Blonde, flew over times this times this, then put the whole convoluted in his little goat leather backpack, and panted first by.
I thought it was about time now, probably the most well-traveled guest südschwitzerische hospitality opposed bring, as I asked him where he had learned because so excellent German.
He looked at me a little surprised and said: "But how do you know that I just may be more than a little German? I told only a few words! "" Well, at least now I know it, and before that it was very likely due to your diction. What brings you to Südschwitz? Sorry, I'm Goeller, I am village schoolmaster in the bush camp. "
"Village schoolmaster!" The Chinese said in an almost religious ecstasy. "Village schoolmaster!"
I was wondering first and said nothing.
"Um, yes. My apologies. I am Mr. Fong. I work for the Chinese Ministry of Agriculture. "
"Aha. Are there interesting here for the Chinese Ministry of Agriculture, or do you just leave? "
"No, not a holiday. It's about cultivation methods in particularly arid conditions. I have a contact in ... "
"Bush camp. Where else can. "
I could imagine already, with whom, so I did not ask.
"China has but does not this similar climate zones and thus growing conditions," I said instead something pointed, "in any case total seasonal".
"You really seem to know about a bit," Mr Fong said, "in spite of himself arid areas in some respects may resemble very rural. Moreover, the Chinese Ministry of Agriculture not only in the People's Republic is active. "
Two persuasive arguments. I began Fong increasingly seriously. Why is he telling me this so openly? He knew already who I was? That I would run into him Buschhausen anyway on the way? I was already paranoid now because of Chinese agricultural engineer or plant breeder?
"Mr. Fong, I Lüde you like one to me for dinner if you are in the bush camp. I hope you are not a vegetarian? "
Fong was a little surprised, but then grinned like a Cheshire cat and shook to the head.
"I deceived namely love to real südschwitzer bush cuisine is very spicy, and there are plenty of marinated grilled meat."
"Oh, yes, Mr. Goeller, that sounds good."
I gave him my card, and added: "I know you in Buschhausen also reliable, cheap hostel, so you can wear the rest of your expenses in the Golden Gazelle, where you also get to know the race of men, whose miraculous agricultural methods to China to observe Find. The human terroir, so to speak. "
"Human terroir," he cackled again, "human terroir!" And ceased as abruptly.
Whether this strange Chinese, Ministry of Agriculture, who spoke German so well, probably of wine knew something?
And as though he had read my thoughts, Mr. Fong declined slightly conspiratorial three looking at me and said very quietly: "Mr. Goeller, you know how here, as a newcomer, as a foreigner, even as obvious Chinese, at a decent bottle Wine comes without the cost a week's wages? "
Either he just wanted to sound out and make a confidant, or he wanted to make clear at least equal times its wine supply for his entire stay, all forward-looking Chinese, or both. To a bottle it was not him anyway.
"Mr. Fong," I said, "the thing is very simple in Südschwitz. There are people who import directly, and to know this, which is not harmful. Otherwise Ollis Weinkontor is here in Freiberg still the best address. Wine cellar of upscale quality and selection, there are, as all Südschwitzer agree, there should not be a very hidden secret cellar, only two. But it drink except the owners or managers only invited guests on special occasions and with friends. It gets even sometimes a bottle gift, or a box, if the winemaker wants to make a special pleasure or send a deserved reward. "
Either the Chinese played very well or he figured it really was him or the mouth water.
"Mr. Goeller, you seem to know about," he said after a certain pause, "who has this cellar, and how to get there without losing face, under it?"
He had actually 'underneath' said. Normally you do not want topsy under a wine cellar.
"Anyone who has this wine cellar, white here, as I said, every child. They belong Olli, so the one who has made Südschwitz very much what it is, and the Supreme Hart Holtz, the site commander of the Bundeswehr. Since I know them both well, I know that the rumors about their cellars are none. "
"Mister Goeller!" - I do not know why he now slipped into English - "it seems to me you are one of the most privileged people here in Südschwitz!"
It really seemed as if he had gone through the horse. But I did not trust the roast. The whole thing was now also become a bit surreal. A strangely single-minded Chinese.
So I drank my beer, adopted me out of the not faked reason that I would have to do under all Höflichkeitsbezeigungen and the Verspechen, that I will raise a decent bottle of wine for venison, Mister Fong, host Max a thank you and a Bisdann waving in the cooler already become desert night.
Fortunately, I had more spiritually moved because excessively drunk, so that I now, shortly after midnight, when the proper thirst of the Südschwitzer maintains until all power, particularly on Fridays, break, quite to follow even my agreed with Olli duty happy me yet looked into the situation, as I only just a pub with a Mr. Fong, uh, Mr. Fong had behind me. I could not disappoint Olli, nor I could basically show too little flag.
In the Golden Ox so I would not break early into the midst of Hartholtzens band; damn, there are still those officials pub where all the deer management from Northern Goofy go. No, I do not myself today. The notice before everything later or never. Maybe tomorrow. Where?
All at once stood, as I paused, two normally dressed men in their forties before me, and one of them said: "Good evening. Do you know here in town a bit? "
It was the accent as in the faces obvious that it had to turn to the Russians or Russian-born German.
"Yes, a little. What are they looking for Men? "
"We are looking for a place where you can drink properly, beautiful women and such, but no puff, and no fights and Verrickten."
"Well, gentlemen, those are all sorts of ideas here in the small Freiberg." It occurred to me that since these powered by a Swiss small tavern was where not necessarily hovered my audience, of the me but about the've heard was, at least bestnäherungsweise what the Russians probably WOULD CHOOSE before, so why not even Russians, so you're going quite unsuspicious, the orchid.
"Gentlemen, follow me into the orchid. I can not promise you anything, the restaurant itself does not know well, but it will most likely meet your expectations. "
The Russian nodded. This turned out to be Boris, that as Sergei ago, I myself as Magnus.
We beat our way, and they parlierten time being in a good mood behind me in Russian. When orchid arrived, I pointed it to the entrance, not sure if I this matter should continue to expose what Boris and Sergei however, meant very clear to me that not to be invited to a beer from them at least an irreparable insult to the Russian folk-soul would, whereupon I saw sufficiently einkomplimentiert me in the shed.
As we were seated at the bar, dim light, psychedelic music, all in black and purple and acid green, Sergei and Boris were always better on it, they started in typical German Russians to tell raunchy jokes and always better to amuse.
Now I wanted some games feel the tooth, because as fun tourist saw Boris and Sergei as little like Mr. Fong.
"Hey, Boris, what are you actually with Sergei here, you are not about ..." I began.
"Sergei" Boris said freezing cold, "have you any idea why Magnus wants to provoke us?"
"No, Boris, he knows that we are not gay."
"Do you think he would have said in the Moscow subway also to us? Sergei? "
But suddenly she laughed and pushed, as though nothing had happened, with me.
"Well, I'll go then a minute," I said finally, turned to go.
"But no, Magnus," said Sergei, "maybe you can us a few tips to give. Another Blonde for my friend Magnus! "
So I let myself firmly witches again. Let's see what you still wanted me.
"We are from the Russian foreign intelligence service."
Now I really had myself first again keep my blonde.
Having somewhat taken me, I shook my head and said: "You are entering here openly as Russians and told me that ye are of the Russian secret service. A better nonsense you can probably not let you come? "
Both were silent, until Boris said to Sergei: "He has really not much plan."
Slowly but surely I realized that although I probably really did not have much plan, but must do so urgently, as though it were otherwise.
"Well, dear Sergey, dear Boris, if you do something umtut in Südschwitz, you will be well with you confirm that a certain village schoolmaster named Magnus Goeller in all things does not have much plan, you're not able are the first heroes, anywhere have come. I thank you for the beer and the pleasant evening. "
And straight out, first by breathing. What was going on here? Actually, I would have liked ceded in my Kate, the little shed, the Olli always discreet for me holds in Freiberg.
But I could not after two pubs and just three beers, especially without even to begin the compulsory passage in the Golden Ox, already in my Geheimratseck.
So the Golden Ox, it was now nearing two, ie the time when the mood with the onset of cool nights wont heat up there.
The Golden Ox it was like usual boozy, the usual illegitimate children in initiation, only the soldiers Stammtisch appeared quite strange depressed mood behind the beers.
"Guys, I may join you, or did you Truppenrat secret?" I joked and sat down without waiting for an answer as usual to do so.
"Magnus, you've got it good!" Said the drunkest of eight or nine soldiers.
"Why, Hermann, I'm not even Stufz and have no legal assault rifle. And the Federal Republic holds much less of me than you. Therefore, you may even serve in their military. "
"But you do not have the hard Holtz on the cheek!" He said dreamily, almost a little whiny.
"I the hard Holtz not on the cheek?" - I realized that I was not allowed to exaggerate - "Who the not on the cheek? I about? Pays me at least a beer expense? "
Harry spoke up. Main field. "But you can not command."
"Oh no. But it is sometimes hard turn. What will you whiners, you wanted but here in Südschwitz his country bravely defend what's got into you? Soon all of you who do not hire the SAS, constant pede scrapped from the Old Reich? "
"I understand almost that hard Holtz times you called a die, arrogant civilian penny from me. But well, you will learn in it anyway. Hard Holtz wants from Monday tear our asses, you can imagine what that means for me as a main field that, as he put it: ". Südschwitzerinnen all know afterwards, where there are real men are here"
"That's what the Colonel nevertheless formulated very nice and motivating," I replied, "some Hintlingstochter may still come as a soldier."
"Listen to Magnus. Leave it now. He has said he is even with, and that we still are the Zisternenbauen and root galling and hand bow hunting learn at the abgewichstesten Hintlingen of the children. It all looks not by jokes from. "
"Have you any idea what brought him at once to this Rappel?"
"Zero plan. Well, it's there already that with his aunt, but why should he us now, right where he can let it fly since his stroke pull themselves to mercilessly want to chase in the desert? "
"Does he somehow messed up?"
"Messed up? I am now ten years on the force. He is unequivocal. Only soldiers with excellent benefits should receive the usual full supply during exercise. "
"That is, he makes the Harten. He threatens with the maximum penalty. "
"Yes, he told me clearly that even full beer ban for careless officers at any time part of the program if we do not toe."
"Well, you are my hero beautiful because you threatened on Monday dehydration, and you practice it already Friday night: Let us raise one, as long as the sun has not yet the glass"
This pleased the doughboys, and they were again funny, and I set about half past three under südschwitzer puns continue.